The night we had Macy’s family birthday party (see An Excuse for Cookie Cake below), she stayed up way too late.  But it was her birthday and she was having way too much fun playing with all of her new toys, so I figured she’d be okay.  However, when I went to put her to bed, she just could not get settled.  You know how when you are so tired you can’t fall asleep?  Multiply that by two and that is where Macy was.  So I found myself in her dark bedroom trying to quiet her down enough so that she would be able to fall asleep.

Somehow, I ended up standing up in front of her crib holding her like a baby and rocking, rocking, rocking.  After a minute or two, I realized that I was in the same position that I spent most of her babyhood.  Standing up, rocking, rocking, rocking (we didn’t have a rocking chair).  I thought back to all those hours of rocking.  I used to think – what am I doing wrong?  Why won’t she fall asleep?  Why is she still crying?  I wish someone would have just told me – this is just a phase.  You’ll blink and she’ll be turning two.  She won’t be crying out for you in the middle of the night (all the time, anyway).  She won’t have to eat every three hours.  But she also won’t snuggle you like she used to.  She probably won’t fall asleep in your arms.  And she’ll run away from you when she’s done something wrong (or gets in an open area). It will be different, but good different.  You’ll actually be able to sleep through the night.

As I thought back on all these things, my little girl was settling down.  I said a prayer for her and placed her in her crib.  I can’t believe how much she has grown.  I would rock her forever if I could.


2 thoughts on “Snuggle

  1. So very sweet and tender Amy, your words are so true. With my babies almost 33 and almost 29 I feel just the way you feel, it never changes, it just grows.
    I always read your posts on Macy, they just touch my heart. Your a wonderful, loving Mom and you have a very special bond with your beautiful Daughter.
    Please keep writing, I shall be reading. xxxx

  2. Our family met yours at Great Hills BC. My husband Joe is a church planter in Cleveland, Ohio. We have 4 children, you spoke with our oldest Lydia about a mission trip. I enjoyed the time Flies email and decided to check out your blog. A young mother from our church with her first baby, 4 months old is really struggling with getting him to sleep. I read this to her and it touched her greatly. I cried while reading it….. my own desire for more babies is growing, which i didn’t think was possible. Thanks for your words. Remember you never know who you will touch- even someone who doesn’t know you.

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