In some ways, I think I’d forgotten what it was like to have a newborn. Your brain probably doesn’t let you remember it all – or you might never have another child. Between the sleep deprivation, crying, constant diaper changing and worrying if you’re doing it “right” – it is a difficult first month. I don’t know about other moms, but I find myself (even with my second) still second guessing myself. To cry it out or hold? To go ahead and feed her now or try to wait it out for a few more minutes? How to balance our “lives” with the needs of a newborn is still something I’m working on.
And then we’ll throw in a Macy girl.
For the first couple weeks of her life (of course) Selah was a very good baby. Very little crying, lots of sleeping. So portable. You gotta love brand new newborns. They make you think you are rockin’ this parent thing.
And then they “grow up”.
For the last week or so, Selah has found her little voice. And she can wail with the best of them. She wasn’t just cranky when she was sleepy – I’d feed her and after filling up, she’d cry. And cry. I’d stand up, walk around, bounce her, burp her, change her diaper, put her down and nothing seemed to work. More crying.
This reminded me of my first experience with a baby.
I started thinking thoughts like – Wait a second! I already had the difficult baby! It’s my turn to have the easy going one!
(As if you can just order them like that)
But Selah cried on.
And then Macy started.
Today was the first day that reminded me of Selah’s first couple of weeks of life. She cried, of course, but mostly because she was tired or hungry or needed a diaper change. And then she stopped. Hallelujah.
I’m hoping that today marks a change in little Selah’s life and that from here, there will be no more fits of crying for no apparent reason.
(This probably won’t happen, but a girl can dream, can’t she?)
I love you Selah. And I’m glad you’re sleeping right now. 🙂