The First Year

I don’t know this for a fact, but it wouldn’t surprise me if grief books spent a lot of time talking about how difficult the first year is after you lose someone. It’s the first birthday without them, the first vacation, the first Christmas.

For me, this weekend was the first Easter.

I didn’t realize how difficult Easter would be without my mom. She loved Easter – buying new dresses, going to church together, picking out chocolate bunnies, filling the girls’ Easter baskets with stuff they didn’t need. She always bought them a stuffed bunny. I can remember telling her last year – don’t buy them any more stuffed bunnies. Eighteen is enough.

I seriously doubt she would have listened to me this year.

For Macy’s first Easter in the US, she bought this super cute ballerina Easter basket. It was so Macy.




One of my favorite pictures of Macy and Mom.

It broke my heart to go shopping for Selah a basket, so I decided to wait until next year.

We did have a nice Easter at Buddy and Cook Cook’s house. It’s always fun having the grandkids together.


We love Cook Cook and Buddy


Cousin love

Enough pictures…let’s hunt some eggs!



Faster, Daddy!



IMG_9124.jpg crop

Happy Easter! He is Risen!


3 thoughts on “The First Year

  1. Cleaned a closet the other day–one Mer and Baker call “the black hole” as they worry whoever goes in might get swallowed up and never return. In there I found adorable pictures of you and Meredith, your mom and dad, and Brad and me from chili dinner #3. Sat and cried for an hour then smiled remembering so many great times then cried some more. I think grief doesn’t play by any rules. Love you much Miss Amy.

  2. i know grief hits in surprising ways at surprising times. i’m so sorry that the first wave came at a time when we normally celebrate, yet i know too that grief, as painful as it is, and as frail as it makes us, facilitates remembering… my pryr for you is that you’ll continue to find moments of remembering… and that in time, and by Dad’s grace, they’ll be happy moments & joy-filled rememberances.

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