The Last Day

As a kid, I always thought of May as a time of beginnings.  The beginning of freedom, the beginning of summer, the beginning of a new job.

As an adult, May has become the month of endings. My calendar is full of the end of school year stuff – field day, teacher appreciation week, mother’s day tea, last day of school parties.

Yesterday was Selah’s preschool graduation. There’s not much cuter than a whole bunch of five year olds dressed up in cap and gowns.

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First we got to listen to the graduates sing –

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Then each kiddo got to walk across the stage and receive their diploma –

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I can’t say enough good things about Selah’s teachers this year. They have been the most loving, supportive, encouraging and kind women I could have ever asked for. They love my Selah and she loves them right back.

We only had a minute to take a couple of pictures with the graduate.

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At this point, the cookie was winning over any more pictures. Can’t say that I blame her.

You would have thought that all this pomp and circumstance would have had this momma falling apart, but I really did okay through the whole thing. Even through the slide show of baby pictures, I made it without a tear.  I thought I was home free.

That is, until this morning, when it was time for drop off.

Here I am, pulling up in the car line outside the girls’ school, and it suddenly hit me.

This is the last time I will ever drop Selah off as a student here.

When Selah first started at Foundry, she was two years old. My mother had only been gone a year and they only had one spot left in the Turning Threes class.  I didn’t know anyone there except the director who gave us a tour of the building and showed us where her classroom would be.

For the first two weeks of school, I brought her inside to her classroom.  After those two weeks, you had the option of doing drop offs from your car if your teacher thought your child would be okay.  Selah’s teacher approved right away and from that day on, she’s been getting out of my car to go into school without looking back.

That was THREE years ago.

I love her school, her teachers, the staff and the parents.  I love how much they love the kids.  And gosh, I love my Selah.

With Macy – as I’m sure most moms are with their firstborn – you can’t wait for them to get to the  next milestone.  First food, first step, first big kid bed, first day of school.

But with your second, wow. You just want time to slow down a bit.  Let me savor that first step just a little bit longer.  Let me keep you in your crib just a little bit longer.  Let me hold you like a baby.  Just a little bit longer.

And that is how I feel today.

Let me keep you here in preschool just a little bit longer.  You are safe here, you are encouraged here, you are loved here.  Let me keep you in the place where school is only a few days a week and I get the extra time to play with you and hug on you and hear your songs.  Let me keep you this age just a little bit longer.

So this morning as I pulled up into the car line, I pulled Selah into my lap and hugged on her so tightly.  I kissed her head and told her – this is my last time to drop you off at your school.

She smiled at me and said, “Today’s the last day Ms. Sandy’s going to open my gummies for me.  She’s going to be sad too.”

Thank you Selah for making me laugh through my tears.  I may be sad you are growing up, but I am so proud of you for who you are becoming.  I love you more than words can say.

To all you moms out there in the same boat as me, happy last day of preschool.

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