Newborns

Even though Kate wasn’t quite five years old yet, I had forgotten what the first few days after having a baby are like. Tired. Tired. And then more tired.

That first night in the hospital, Haven slept like a champ. I think we actually woke her up at some point to eat. We’d thought we finally had gotten the Holy Grail. A baby that actually slept. The next morning, I was feeling great – well, as great as one can feel after delivering a baby – and even better when our friends brought me bagels and lox for breakfast.

We got Haven home that day around dinnertime-ish. The girls were so excited. I don’t remember much, but I’m sure it was hard for them to go to sleep. Jeff set up Haven’s pack and play and I’m sure I took a shower at some point.

What I do remember is that first full night at home.

It’s not a pleasant memory.

That sweet, sweet little baby girl that I had just given birth to would not sleep. I swaddled and fed her, but the minute I put her down, she cried. So I carried her around and fed her some more. And then tried, oh so gently, to put her down. She cried.

I “slept” the majority of that night with a Boppy in my lap, feeding a baby, sitting straight up.

Newborns.

I’m pretty sure the next day, Jeanette came over and held her for a while and I finally got a little bit of sleep. That was pretty amazing.

The next few nights were not so wonderful either. The good thing about having four kids – well, having four kids who aren’t great sleepers anyway – is that you know it’s coming. And you know it will not last forever. I remember when Macy was born and she wouldn’t sleep, I cried right along with her, because I believed (genuinely) that this would last forever. I thought I would never sleep again.

Which, as a mom, has a little bit of truth to it.

But, I did sleep again. At least a lot better than in those first few newborn months.

Good thing they come out so cute.

Haven

Dear Haven,

Your birth story is one of my favorites. Ok, let’s be honest – they’re all one of my favorites, but yours is pretty great. It doesn’t matter that you are the fourth child in our family, your story is just like you – perfect.

For one thing, because you are the fourth child in our family, I was a little nervous about how the whole thing would go down – especially for the other three girls. I had more than one sleepless night where I worried about going in labor in the middle of the night. There were so many unanswered questions – who would fix the lunches? Who would take them to school? Who would fix their hair?!

But the Lord was very gracious to me. He knew all of my worries and He (in only a way that He can) took care of ALL the details.

The night before you were born, Aunt Kasie, Uncle JB, Ryker and baby Ella were in town. It was the night before they flew out and I convinced them to meet us at a nearby bluebonnet patch where we took pictures of the kids.

After the girls had gone to bed, Aunt Kasie and Uncle JB brought baby Ella over so we could hang out more. I remember being a little sad that you weren’t here yet, because I really wanted you to meet them. I also remember looking at baby Ella – who at that point was not quite three months old – and thinking, wow. We’re going to do this again. Do we remember how to do this?

That night when I went to bed, everything was normal. Little did I know, you would make your grand entrance the next day.

The next morning, I woke up a few minutes before my alarm went off. And I just knew. You were coming today.

I didn’t say a thing. I got Macy and Selah up. I fixed their lunches, made sure they brushed their teeth. I made breakfast and fixed their hair. And just like most mornings, they left right on time with my dad for school.

I was definitely in labor, but my contractions were still plenty far apart. This was not my first rodeo and I knew we had plenty of time.

I remember waking up Daddy and telling him – there’s no need to panic, but I’m in labor. We’ve still got time, so I’m going to go pack for the girls.

I know, I know. I should have already packed for them. But I was almost a little bit afraid to. Like if I did, I would jinx the whole thing, and you would never come. So I packed then. A couple of school uniforms, some regular clothes, nightgowns, toothbrush, pj’s. Enough for two days just in case. I got all the blankets/stuffed animals/loveys wrapped up and asked Daddy to carry all the suitcases to the car.

Then, it was time to wake up Kate. I had already arranged with a friend to take Kate to preschool, because (oddly enough) I had a doctor’s appointment that morning. So I texted her and asked if I could drop Kate off a little earlier than expected and she said that was fine.

After dropping off Kate, we headed up to the doctor’s office, which is connected to the hospital. I went in for my appointment – about 30 minutes early or so – and told them I was in labor. They smiled at me (probably not believing me for a second) and told me the doctor should be in any minute. They called my name and in I went, with a smile on my face.

I told the nurse I was in labor, who then went to get the doctor. She walked in and said – you’re in labor? But you’re wearing make-up? And you fixed your hair? I laughed out loud. She didn’t believe me either. But don’t worry, Haven. I was. You were coming today.

She sent me right over to the hospital and I got all set up and met my nurse. She asked if I wanted to be on the list for an epidural – I giggled and said what? Is it like setting up a restaurant reservation?! Yes! Put me on the list!

The one thing I was missing that day was listening to Kate perform at her school. Fortunately, both Grandma and Papa were able to make it and they videoed it for me.

By that afternoon, you were here. I was so surprised that you had a full head of white blonde hair. And oh my goodness, you were so beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. We’d been waiting nine months (well minus one week), and now here you were. And you were perfect.

Welcome to the world, our sweet baby Haven Lee. We love you so, so much.